I must have been about 7 when I saw David Lean’s version of Great Expectations. The opening scene has stayed with me forever. Little boy running past a gibbet to put flowers on his mother’s grave. Suddenly the figure of years of nightmares grabs him – lo tis “I’ll have your heart and liver out” Magwich!

Huge, swollen, grotesque nose, mad eyes and above all the convict’s shaven skull.

Check it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXyo68s-f1E

Magwich then forces Pip to steal his family’s Xmas pie. This struck me as a truly awful dilemma when I was 7. It still does. It wasn’t fair. Anyway Magwich has been with me ever since but I did not realize the proximity until this morning.

Those of you who have actually seen me know that I have little hair. This is actually an advantage as I do not have to er style it and stuff like the mem-log do. It also saves me a significant amount of money as I have not been to a barber for decades.  I have a dog clipper set and every few months I just run the clipper, with appropriate height control thing, through my pitiful remnants and Bob is your father’s brother.


Careless, I trim my hair on this bright Saturday morning only to realize too late that enemies have changed the height control thing to the convict special level.

I look in the mirror and I am Magwich. Quel destin.

I do OK when I get to Australia

Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and six, result misery.

I am reluctant to go outside as  I will scare little children.

        Pip Pip Pippety Pip
Slid on the lino
Slippety Slip
Fell down stairs
Trippety Trip
Tore her knickers
Rippety Rip
Started to cry
Drippety Drip
Poor little Pippa
Pippety Pip.
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2 Responses to Pip,pip,pippity,pip

  1. Mike Taylor says:

    I recall a hysterical version of this Spike Milligan poem recited by (Terry ?) Nicholas at a school show, circa 1968, which you must also have attended.

  2. Ah well there’s a thing. This ditty has hung around in the skull from earliest days but I never really knew where I picked it up. It must have been from Terry Nicholas whom I remember well. Thanks

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