Christian

New Year’s Eve and we are camping on a beach about 40 miles from anywhere. It gets dark we start drinking beer when we spot headlights creeping along the deep sand track that leads to our camp. What?! Who?! Why?!

Too good to be true

Too good to be true

He is a kinda park ranger whose job is to stop predation of lobster and abalone along a couple of hundred kilometers of coastline. He immediately asks us if we would like some lobsters. Christian is very friendly and clearly delighted to have someone to talk to as he has spent the last two years living in a cabin with only abalones to converse with. He cracks open a bottle of Tequila and pours us big shots. He does not drink himself.

Christians are naturally the best and can kill people

Christians are naturally the best and can kill people

He rants on and on in Spanish and we grin, understanding little. We want him to go away. He goes over to his truck and produce a GUN! He grins and waves it around. We wait for him to put on his wrestling mask before blowing us away. The atmosphere  is a little tense.

He wants me to talk to his American buddy over his radio.

Buddy says:

“Neil, it is important that you know that the goodness of the Earth is flowing through my veins – over.”

“Er, Happy New Year – over.”

“My body is trembling in unison with the vibrations of the life force – over.”

“Um, did you have a good Christmas? – over”

And so on. Christian, who has put away his gun, makes drinking gestures indicating that his buddy probably drinks too much.

After several shaking of hands and farewells Christian finally leaves. We breathe a big sigh of relief. The poor kid was clearly very lonely but guns change the tone of a conversation.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

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6 Responses to Christian

  1. Alan says:

    Is there something about Mexico and Christian loons who don’t drink or don’t until some other loons in a RangeRover turn up? At least the guy at the 4 Square Church hideaway didn’t come out with the heavy artillery. Memories stirred by some of those pics.

    Happy New Year!

  2. Happy New Year Alan!
    I do not know if he was a christian but it was his name. Very cold in Baja

  3. Mike Taylor says:

    Nevil Shute, or Neil Young.

  4. Ian Calder says:

    I read book called “Fire in the Hole” by Elmore leonard whilst in Bonny Kerala. A great read, but it would not have made you easier in your mind on the beach with a chap with a gun. Another great read is “American Caesars”, but you have to stop fairly frequently as it is v upsetting.

  5. Thanks for the card. What were you doing there? All Elmore Leonard is good.

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