Ding, Dong

So over the last few months I have been conscious of a low-level ringing in my ears. Apparently the medical term for this is Tinea Cruris. Yesterday, I go to see an ear doctor . It is, as usual, the best fun. There is something about the medical profession on Okinawa that attracts people with impish dispositions. It is probably the close proximity to death.

I am afraid you are going to die.

I am afraid you are going to die.

After a good searching around inside my ears, all of which was projected on an HD screen for me to follow and a very thorough hearing test, the doctor spoke.

” You are an old man. You are on the downward slope of life. You can expect, with accelerating frequency, that things go wrong, that knees get busted, that bits begin to fall off, that pipes clog, that drains foul, that joints sclerose, that lips dribble and eyes purge thick amber and plum-tree gum. Then you will be buried.”

“OK, thanks Doc.” says I. “By the way, can you fix the ringing in my ears?”

“No, you are doomed to suffer ringing in your ears until the last syllable of recorded time.”

“Ok, thanks Doc.”

The cause of the trouble.

The cause of the trouble.

Whilst at school, I was a member of the shooting team. We shot .303 Lee Enfield rifles and we  were deadly. I thoroughly enjoyed it, but alas now I pay the price. Long summer afternoons firing off hundreds of rounds of 303 ball cartridges, without the least concern for ear protection has resulted in my current ear performance deficiency. We cleaned the rifles with rolls of special cloth named two by four, soaked in a mixture of oil and water called milk. So there you go.

This how to eat suchi.



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