So I have a big event approaching for which I will have to wear a suit.  Those I have balloon around me satisfactorily due to weight loss. One recommends me to go to a certain store. It is packed with, you know, suits but no people. I am made very welcome.

“If honor be your clothing, the suit will last a lifetime; but if clothing be your honor, it will soon be worn threadbare”

Charming assistant speaks no English and my Japanese lessons have not yet reached the “how to buy a suit ” chapter. Mime works and soon I am trying on suits that are too small for me. Finally we find one that fits, as far as I know,  and I cry, ” Hai!! Aregato gosaimasu.” I hate shopping and have to get out of there.

Things now get strange. The charming assistant suddenly turns into an in-your-face sales-harpie. She keeps bringing out suits and trying to force me to try them on. I am panicky. I want to leave. I do not want to buy another suit. The poor lady is almost tearful on account of my negativity and demonstrates many times on a calculator what a great deal I will get.

Finally  – thank God before I become abusive – I realize that I am in a 2 for 1 deal.  Having bought one suit, I get another for free. This seems very non Japanese but what do I know.

“But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth: I humbled my soul with fasting; and my prayer returned into mine own bosom.

It also turns out that I get two pairs of trousers with each suit. Expecting to leave with a jacket and a pair of trousers, I, in fact, leave with two jackets and four pairs of trousers.

Have I been ripped off? Do I care?

You can put a goat in a suit but it is still a goat. This costs more than I paid.

http://www.tvdance.com/shop/halloween-costumes/ideas/mascot/billy-goat/