Terror in Tokyo

I go to Tokyo for a thing, which is actually a reasonably big deal. The trip is stamped with terror.


Early morning Tokyo. Little do I know.


The day starts well.

We are driven in great state to the place wherein the action will take place. My biggest responsibility is to buy Jonathan a sandwich for lunch. I venture out into the wild streets of Ginza to find a sandwich shop. At first it is euphoric, whoa Tokyo, whoa!


Japan loves Eddie Jones.

Yay!  I find a sandwich shop.


There are a couple of sandwiches and a chunk of chocky cake in the bag. Each sandwich is beautifully wrapped, the cake is boxed and beribboned.

Smug in that I have carried out my heavy task, I head back to the place. This is where the terror starts. I cannot remember exactly how I got to where I am. I set off into the high building maze of Ginza. I have no idea where I am going, every huge street looks the same. Am I heading towards the place or diametrically away from it? I am illiterate and can read none of the many maps that are posted. Well actually, I can read “You are here.” but, you know, what is the use of knowing where you are if you don’t know where you are going, er, dude?

I feel true terror. Months of work and preparation, thousands or millions of whatever currency, guests from all over, and I am stumbling, with Jonathan’s sandwich, along identical streets with millions of other lost people.


Anyway, I make it.

So, the thing is in a huge auditorium on the 12th floor of an 459 floor or something building.

I listen attentively until I feel the floor shake.  I immediately envisage 100,000,000 tons of concrete dropping down on my head as I in turn drop down at the same velocity, waiting for the inevitable squish as we hit the deck. What will it feel like? Will it hurt?

The little quakes go on.

I sweat.

The thing goes on from 1:30 to 6:00. Throughout I am in a state of primal dread.

Tokyo, you are too hard-core for me.

Anyway, I survive and fly back to find that the Spring “Marine Quarterly” has arrived.

Hooray! I can relax reading about shipwreck.



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