A cameo.

James is off on an adventure in the truck. Street cleaning looms and I have to move his bike to the other side of Fell.

I venture out and fall into conversation with a guy who is sitting on the steps. I feel in my pockets to make sure I have the house keys and close the door.

Alas, the keys in my pocket are not the house keys but are James’s motorbike keys. I have locked myself out! I am in big trouble!

I look up and down the street to see if Jesus is around and could help me.

One of my windows is unlocked but access is tricky. I try but I am too old, fat, generally past it, to hop up onto a rickety fence and slither into the window.

I stand around on the street working out what I can do. I try to borrow a ladder from adjacent gas station. Asian lady with little English is terrified and I let it go.

Not Jesus but a young man called Eggi rescues me.

He, with friends, are hanging around. I explain my predicament and Eggi, like a goat, hops onto the fence by the window and jumps through into my apartment. He strides out of the front door: I am saved!

Whew! Alone on the street. Locked out of my house. In a foreign country. Mass shootings everywhere.

I try to give Eggi lots of money. He refuses. America is not all bad.

In case any of you are planning to break into my place, I have now locked the window.