The Withered Ear

My ears have always got me into trouble, mainly because of their exaggerated size. They are Dumbo-ish


“Here is your husband, like a mildewed ear.” Hamlet knew how to disrespect people.

Like Dumbo, my ears are a liability in high winds. Worse still is that underwater they act as sluices, directing every sort of plankton, effluvia, starfish, manta rays, plastic bottles and that sort of sea stuff, into my external auditory channel. You know how it is.

This in turn causes an infection, which is hardly surprising. The infection causes swelling, pain, stiffness of jaw, giddiness, fever, rectal rashes, loss of appetite, nausea, weight loss, night sweats, vomiting and especially chronic fatigue.


Mildewed ear

Off I go to the Ear,Nose and Throat guy in Ishikawa. We are old friends due to previous ear infections and the cursed tinnitus.

Japanese health care is outstanding in quality, value for money and that sort of stuff but it is very linked to fairness. I do not think there are private clinics in Japan but what do I know? The result is that a mighty samurai goes to the clinic and waits his turn like everyone else. I wait for 90 mins before being seen by the Sensai. However I am now a hardened Japanese and so take a bunch of work stuff to the doctors. This in fact, gives me a quiet time to read things and desperately try to understand what is going on like professionally.

Just as I reach the end of my documents, a discreet nurse murmurs, “Go jyu san.” in my shell-like or withered ear. It is my number and I proceed to the bower of the ear sensai.

He does not muck about. He sucks ear wax out of my ears. I mean with a suction device not kinda himself. He says ” No swimming, take antibiotics and ear drops!”

“Hai!!” reply I.

Conveniently placed next door, is a pharmacist. He winks at me and says, ” Etto, same as 2 years ago Neil sensei.” He seems to imply  a sexually transmitted disease.


Ear drops and antibiotics. That should do the trick.

I hate earache.

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