Death And Dying Words Of Poor Mailie

I go down to the fishing port and buy three beautiful fish. Who knows what they are but they are very fresh. Actually they look just like herring but that would not work as herring are cold water fish. I also get some Caulerpa lentillifera, er, an edible sea weed that is very big around here.
The trip home is eventful. First I stop off at a vegetable stall of which there are loads. All the vegetables are seasonal in Okinawa and you can buy them straight from the farmers. I continue to forge over the Rubicon by buying some greens that look just like chrysanthemum leaves. I mime how do I cook this?  The old lady says “Boil!” 

The brown thing is not a vegetable. It is a flute

I make Sunday lunch of fish, greens, seaweed and wonderful rice. The fish is much like mackerel and delicious. The greens probably grow on you.

Before

After

Let’s spin the clock back a bit.

After buying the greens, I take a dirt road to the coast and wade through the already warm sea along the cliffy coastline. Ospreys are flying overhead. The coast line is a series of tiny coves each with a beautiful sandy beach, maybe 5 yards wide. Truly  exotic, sci-fi vegetation hangs over from the top of the cliff. Anyway, I burst  inland and come onto an enclosure in the middle of nowhere  that contains a family of white goats. Two tiny kids about a week old, a mother with a troubled look and a billy goat. He is standing on his back legs with his head and horns hopelessly tangled in the plastic netting fence. He is clearly exhausted and very distressed. I manage to free him but he doesn’t say thank you. Once again the The Ploughman Poet has been here before me.

 

Death And Dying Words Of Poor Mailie, The Author’s Only Pet Yowe. An Unco Mournfu’ Tale


1783
Type: Poem

As Mailie, an’ her lambs thegither,
Was ae day nibbling on the tether,
Upon her cloot she coost a hitch,
An’ owre she warsl’d in the ditch:
There, groaning, dying, she did lie,
When Hughoc he cam doytin by.

Wi’ glowrin een, and lifted han’s
Poor Hughoc like a statue stan’s;
He saw her days were near-hand ended,
But, wae’s my heart! he could na mend it!
He gaped wide, but naething spak,
At langth poor Mailie silence brak.

“O thou, whase lamentable face
Appears to mourn my woefu’ case!
My dying words attentive hear,
An’ bear them to my Master dear.

“Tell him, if e’er again he keep
As muckle gear as buy a sheep-
O, bid him never tie them mair,
Wi’ wicked strings o’ hemp or hair!
But ca’ them out to park or hill,
An’ let them wander at their will:
So may his flock increase, an’ grow
To scores o’ lambs, an’ packs o’ woo’!

“Tell him, he was a Master kin’,
An’ aye was guid to me an’ mine;
An’ now my dying charge I gie him,
My helpless lambs, I trust them wi’ him.

“O, bid him save their harmless lives,
Frae dogs, an’ tods, an’ butcher’s knives!
But gie them guid cow-milk their fill,
Till they be fit to fend themsel’;
An’ tent them duly, e’en an’ morn,
Wi’ taets o’ hay an’ ripps o’ corn.

“An’ may they never learn the gaets,
Of ither vile, wanrestfu’ pets-
To slink thro’ slaps, an’ reave an’ steal
At stacks o’ pease, or stocks o’ kail!
So may they, like their great forbears,
For mony a year come thro the shears:
So wives will gie them bits o’ bread,
An’ bairns greet for them when they’re dead.

“My poor toop-lamb, my son an’ heir,
O, bid him breed him up wi’ care!
An’ if he live to be a beast,
To pit some havins in his breast!

“An’ warn him-what I winna name-
To stay content wi’ yowes at hame;
An’ no to rin an’ wear his cloots,
Like ither menseless, graceless brutes.

“An’ neist, my yowie, silly thing,
Gude keep thee frae a tether string!
O, may thou ne’er forgather up,
Wi’ ony blastit, moorland toop;
But aye keep mind to moop an’ mell,
Wi’ sheep o’ credit like thysel’!

“And now, my bairns, wi’ my last breath,
I lea’e my blessin wi’ you baith:
An’ when you think upo’ your mither,
Mind to be kind to ane anither.

“Now, honest Hughoc, dinna fail,
To tell my master a’ my tale;
An’ bid him burn this cursed tether,
An’ for thy pains thou’se get my blather.”

This said, poor Mailie turn’d her head,
And clos’d her een amang the dead!

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What Are These Things?

One of the joys of living in a more or less totally foreign culture is new vegetables. You know, there are carrots and potatoes and leeks and cabbage and spinach and brussel sprouts and turnips and onions and broccoli and stuff. Here these things are exotic and there are racks of stuff I have never seen before. Huge white radishes, weirdo spinach, roots and tubers of every shape and size, purple potatoes, growths with holes in them – what are these things? What do they taste like? I have crossed the Rubicon. I have bought bizarre tubers. “Alea jacta est.”

I'm Mandy. Fly me

So, they are woody and hard. With a lot of cooking they soften up  revealing a chestnut-like flavor and texture. Very nice. I wonder what they are?

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Industrial Revolution

To my astonishment I have bought a home gym. I hope I use it as I have much enjoyed being reasonably fit rather than fat and old.

No matter if I use it or not because buying it was so interesting that I am already in credit. I spot it on okinawayardsales.com and contact the seller whose name is ‘navywife.’ We meet in a supermarket parking lot and I follow her across Okinawa to her apartment. Her name is Tiffany from Tennessee. She is white and I think she is about 23 years old. She has the most beautiful 3 year old daughter called Layla, who prattles to me non stop as I cast a non critical eye over the gym thing. Tiffany tells me that she and her husband are breaking up and  she just wants the gym out. She wants $100.  Can’t take it as I need a range of tools to dismantle it. Just as I am leaving Layla comes back wearing her party dress and  primps and preens  for my benefit. I hope one of my sons has a daughter.

Next evening I go back. The husband is there. He is in the Navy. His name is Luis and is 250 pounds of muscle. He comes from New York City, is  23 and black.

It was so strange. These kids seemed lost. They were in Okinawa, so far from home, they were splitting but there seemed to be no animosity, their daughter was so full of life and curiosity, he is gentle and black, she is gentle and white, they both talk to their daughter with great restraint and love, towards  me they display classic American courtesy and non- judgmentalism, they are in the military, they look to it to define how their lives will develop. Floating in a strange bubble above Okinawa.

Luis helps me bully the huge machine apart and then bully it down 3 flights of stairs and into my tiny car. It is now installed in a spare room at my place.  Who cares if I use it.

Conversation piece

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Why Don’t People Like Starbucks?

Before I had ever been into a Starbucks I did not like it – the chain. I was living in Europe and maybe it was the idea of American big business getting involved in something as savoir faire  drenched as making coffee. What do those people know about coffee? I think another aspect of my previous antipathy was the choice. In France you go to a cafe and you order a cafe. Sorry can’t do accents on WordPress so just put them in yourselves. There is some choice. You could get a creme, or an expresso or an allonge but that was about it. What’s all this latte, macchiato, cappucino, iced pumpkin spiced latte, double decaf expresso, pike place roast? How vulgar.

When in California I gently changed my mind. The places were very welcoming, the staff were friendly and fast, there was always wifi and the coffee was great.  What’s more you could buy a tremendous variety of coffee right there and they would grind it for you and give you a free coffee while you were waiting.

Now I think Starbucks is just great and I worry rather about my previous pomposity. Maybe they don’t travel  well, as I realize that before yesterday I had never been in a Starbucks outside the US. Guess what?   Just beside my dentist, hub of all things Okinawan for me, is a Starbucks.

The dragon on the left has just had a cinnamon dolce creme frappuccino

The staff are even friendlier, a mixture of Japanese and Starbucks has to be the strongest customer service cocktail around, the wifi is good, the coffee is great and you can buy all kinds of  coffees which they grind for you.

Why don’t people like Starbucks?

I love Kenyan Coffee

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An er restaurant

After another visit to the dentist,which is how I spend my Saturdays on Okinawa at the moment, I have lunch in an adjacent restaurant. I point at a picture on the menu. It looks like pork ramen and so it turns out to be. Noodles, slice of pork, bamboo shoot, obligatory seaweed and shredded spring onion all swimming in very delicious pork broth.

Life expectancy on Okinawa is amongst the highest in the world. Anything less than a century is regarded as a tragically short life.  I put this down to eating lots of pork. You can get chicken and there is a token gesture towards beef in the supermarkets but pork is king. The pork broth that I am currently slurping out of a quaint artisanal-spoony-ladle- device is new to me. Do we do pork broth in Europe or US?  Maybe I can make a million bucks marketing it as the elixir of youth.

Go for the ton

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In Which He Buys a Rice Cooker

When in Japan you eat rice. My idea of cooking rice is a huge pot of boiling water with a little oil. You wash and strain the rice and splosh it into the boiling water. You then watch it with eagle eye so that  you can snatch it off the heat at exactly the right moment so, once drained, each grain is separate and al dente.  God forbid that it be overcooked and so soggy and gluey and sticky-together.

Here is different. The rice is different. It is round and held, it appears to me, in great deference.  It is eaten pretty sticky-together but firm and  you don’t want to f*** up the cooking. So enter the rice cooker. I have never come across these devices before but here they occupy more shelf space  than any other appliance.

Look at the Panasonic on the end. It costs 79,800 yen. That is like $1000 - to cook rice!

I ask my colleagues  how to cook  rice. They reply  “Buy a rice cooker.”  “OK” I say  “But surely there must be a way of doing it without an electric device.” “Yes” they say “But you have to cook the rice very slowly in a little water, keep the temperature constant and it is very difficult. Buy a rice cooker.”

I go to the shop and embark on the well worn path of friendly confusion.  There is  a vast choice of rice cookers. I mean how can they be so different? Yet they range from the cheapskate versions, which I am looking for, to very expensive brutes. $1000 dollars to cook rice? Once again I am illiterate.  Maybe these things translate Homer, or turn water into wine, or base metals into gold, or have speakers and an Ipod connection, or peel potatoes, or have web connectivity so you can read mail while you cook.

I choose my cooker. It appears to be on offer. Instead of 9,990 yen it is 5,990 yen. Cool, I go to check out and the very sweet checkout lady charges me 9,990. I say ” Er , I am a nice guy but I cannot speak Japanese but if you come with me you will see that this cooker is marked as 5,990 yen.”  We go and look at the sticker and she says a lot but I do not understand. Another shop person arrives and says in English, “You want old?” and takes me to another part of the store where lo there is my cooker at 6,990 yen.  I interpret all this as follows: original price 9,990 yen, some kind of store club price 5,990 yen but they have a display model that is on sale for 6,990 yen.  But, hey, I could be very far from the mark.

I buy the display model.

My rice cooker in still life with can of local Orion beer and a lettuce

Next I go to another store to buy rice. It comes in 5 kilo bags, er that is a lot of rice. There is a very large choice but I have no idea what distinguishes the different rices because I am illiterate. I buy the prettiest.

Comes with a his n her set of Burberry tartan chopsticks

The cooker is, I hope, cooking as I write. I pressed a button and I will now enter into a period of clinical trials to establish how to use the thing.

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Okinawayardsales.com

Check out this site  – I love it. What is it about the Americans that makes them want to share? In San Francisco, indeed all over the US, you have Craigslist. You can get anything you want at Craigslist’s restaurant. I remember enthusing about it in my San Francisco blog.

http://spikekalashnikov.wordpress.com/2010/11/15/i-love-craigslist/

It works so well, everyone joins in, I have never been scammed, it is social, it is sharing. Is it a left over from pioneer days when you only survive with the help of your neighbors? In my previous place of abode there was a similar kind of thing called Top Annonces check it:

http://www.topannonces.fr/

There is much less stuff, a lot of it comes from dealers, there are loads of ads and if you use it, you are dogged by spam emails forever. It is not the same. It is business.

So this is a longish intro to my glee at finding:

http://www.okinawayardsales.com/

It is community. It is essentially people on the US bases in Okinawa buying and selling stuff. Prices are low, the tone is community, no ads. It has everything I want, Shrek Bowling Ball, Diving gear, a 14ft inflatable boat with a 25 horse Mercury motor, sofas, home gyms, TVs, Ipod speakers, Yeeha!

Don't throw it away someone else is still that size

Your husband called. He said "Buy whatever you want."

Tomorrow I pick up an iron and an ironing board! $15.

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Life’s a Beach

So the village where my place of employ is, is called Tancha and it has a long and lovely beach

As I walked out on the streets of Laredo

Last Sunday  was beach cleaning day. About 100 volunteers showed up, were issued with special bags and gloves and hit the beach. An hour later it was spotless. So, you can see what a owl has been eating by searching through its faeces. You can learn everything about a rock star’s lifestyle by going through his/her garbage. What did I learn about Tancha by picking up beach trash? First fishing is still very strong – a lot of the detritus was fishing floats both small and large. Next, these folks drink a lot of iced tea. Next, they do not throw gold and diamonds onto the beach. Next, I am looking forward to Spring so I can start swimming in the Ocean in earnest. Next, many hands make light work.

Miners for a heart of gold

“Oh, light is the burden of labour

When a man bends his back with his neighbour

So each for a-a-all We stand or fa-a-all

And each for all until we reach our journey’s end.”

Many thanks to Jonathan Smars for the photos. I left my camera battery at home.

Some of the swag

 

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Chez Le Boulanger

One  surprising facet of Okinawa is the popularity of French bakeries. One of my preconceptions about Japan was that the Japanese did not eat much bread. Not so, it appears. There are three Boulangeries within striking distances of my place.  Baguettes, croissants, pains au chocolat, pains aux raisins, Proustian madeleines and loads of patisserie. Who would have thought it?

Breakfast this morning

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Piscivorous, Piscivore, Piscivory

I do not know where my liking for fish came from. I do not think I ate very much fish as a child. What I did eat came in the form of fish fingers. There was however an exception -Scotland! We would stop by a strange house by Loch Fyne and buy kippers straight from the smoking house. Then there was Mackerel fishing. Long nights, florescence in the water, Gannets plunging and the primal shock of Mackerel taking the darrow.  Back to the cottage to eat 30 minute fished Mackerel at midnight. Thanks Dad.

Freshness has become an imperative. I cannot bear frozen fish. This is one of my few complaints about life in the USA. It is almost impossible, even in ocean-lapped San Francisco, to buy fish that has not been cellularly busted by freezing.

Frabjous day to discover the fishing port in Yomitan where I now live. They do not freeze. You stumble into the fish landing place and with the usual duh-sorry-i-am-a-nice-guy-but-unable-to-speak-sensibly-body-language. I buy a squid, fillets of some kind of fish and get the guy to slice some steaks from a big lump of fresh tuna.

Is that fresh? You looking at me, Pal?

$10

So I think I have arrived. I can buy very fresh fish just down the road at very low prices.

Haii!

Other stuff. I suppose it is the slimy weirdness of fish that turns people off

Delivery vans parked outside the shop.

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